great graduation gifts for yours truly (these are merely just hints *cough*):
- a moulin rouge poster. typically one with both nicole kidman and ewan mcgregor on it
- the moulin rouge collector's addition soundtrack
- the memoirs of gypsy rose lee
- a gypsy dvd
- anything on my wishlist (IM me for the link bc the link on the sideframe of this blog won't work for whatever bloody reason)

Brava!: eric wrote the most beautiful sermon for today's temple service. he claims that he's "par" at writing, but i beg to differ. i am so unbelieveably proud to be his girlfriend.

newest obsession: the photoessays on time.com. The picture of the policeman's silhouttes is absolutely stunning.

so...does graduation scare the crap out of anyone else besides me?

Things I learned in DC:
- i absolutely love watching eric sleep
- depressing museums can be a great means of quality time spent with a person you deeply care about
- hanna has a "motherfuckin man hands"
- i always assumed that the feminine version of the word "player" was "playette". according to the insane guy selling illustrations of famous people outside of Ford' s Theatre, its actually "playerette". or...whatever.
- washington dc pizza sucks
- so do hotel breakfast eggs
- sheer madness is the type of show where, if you see it twice, it spoils it
- billy gluekert, when in the absence of all his usual friends, turns into joe straiik's even more annoying shadow.
- five girls can indeed get ready in a matter of forty minutes sharing one bathroom

whenever i visit someplace historical, it always seems a little surreal. we read about things and people and events that occur out of your history textbooks from first grade on, things that you know definitely happened, but can't really fathom that they did (is this making sense to anyone?). for instance, Ford's Theatre, where lincoln was shot. to think that i was sitting in that very theatre in a seat like anyone else on that night would've been sitting in, someone two hundred years ago who actually witnessed it happen. throughout the boring presentation, i kept replaying the scene in my head as the guide was describing it, and it still seemed surreal. last year in boston while we were walking the path that paul revere took on his horse by shouting his infamous "The British are coming! The British are coming!" and sitting in the church where he shone the torches from to give the signal, I experienced the same thing. there are some parts of history that seem like they occurred not here, on this same earth and soil that you and I now tread on, but in a completely different world during a completely different time. i guess it kind of is, in a way.

other surreal experiences:
- seeing george washington's signature. george washington's signature!
- seeing the treasure box where washington kept documents for the constitutional convention in
- peering into the supreme court courtroom, where cases like McCulloch vs. Maryland, Roe vs. Wade, Dred Scott, and Marbury vs. Madison were trialed. it was enough to make rosenstein orgasm on the spot.
- seeing a gas chamber door and oven door, and also walking through an actual cattle car: all used during the holocaust. horrifying, but surreal. i think my stomach was turned throughout the whole time i was inside that museum.

the architecture of the buildings throughout all of washington was exquisite. the lincoln memorial especially was stunning. the vietnam and korea memorials were chilling. eric said it best: "war is inevitable, but stupid war isn't." korea and vietnam were stupid, stupid wars for us to get involved in. unfortunately, history repeats itself, and had september 11th, never happened, we wouldn't be in another stupid war right now. especially one that's kept so much under wraps.

has anyone else stopped to think about what the world would be like had 9/11 never happened? cuz i know i have more than just once.

in conclusion: im happy for steph, i cried on the way home just like i cried on the way home from any trip or vacation (bc i dont wanna go back), i loved washington dc and i want to go back soon, i will never ever ever see sheer madness ever again, and i wish jerry had come.

the end.

off to DC everyone...

this morning was the start of a rather busy week, i'm presuming. today was the carnival. to call it a success is really a matter of opinion instead of a matter of fact. hogafBITCH said she guesses we only made a thousand dollars profit, but oh well. we should be fine. i know something 98% of the whole class doesn't know anyway :X

tomorrow is a regular school day, then at night is eric's concert. then i have to get home and pack for DC, which we leave for the following morning. arrive back on thursday night. relax and chill. wake up friday morning when there's no school, go to work. repeat again on saturday and sunday.

i'm in a moulin rouge-y kinda mood. must listen to soundtrack while getting my clothes ready.

Things I need for DC: film, AA batteries for my discman, a new bottle of loreal's pumping curls, shampoo and conditioner, a packed suitcase, money

Picture of paul. youngish. rugged. breathless. even the cigarette works.

links are back! links are back!

to my friends: if you're link appears and you don't want it to, just let me know and it will come off.

Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


Which Sex and the City Player Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty

i'm a blusher. what type of make up are you?



quiz made by muna.

Bio is over! Bio is over! Bio is over!

off to MA tomorrow to see Salem and go to a family party. yeehaw.

approximately a week and a half from now, we'll all be in Washington :)

the newspaper came today and melissa, jerry, steph, and eric wrote the most amazing articles. i'm so proud to call them my friends. every one of them are such amazing people; i pale so much in comparison to them. melissa's article rang with truth down to the very last word. i related with just about everything she said.

steph's article was a "thank you" to the teachers that had the most influence on her. i wish i could do that. i'm really quiet in class and the only time i've ever told a teacher that they really influenced me was on the last day of school last year when i thanked brennan and got all choked up and started crying. i would really love to be able to write a "thank you" to them all somehow. maybe i'll write them all cards this year although that would be kinda awkward.

jerry's was legnthy, but nevertheless, amazing. everyone is always so obsessed with grades and averages (me included) and we never stop to really think about what really is the big deal. why do we force ourselves to run around like headless chickens just for the sake of a number that goes on a peice of paper you get in the mail four times every school year? don't get me wrong, studying and getting good grades is essential, but there's no need to take it to certain levels that certain people try to reach (i.e. a certain chronic brown-noser in my college economics class with the initials JS).

eric's was shorter, but it said all it needed to say. in any other case, if i read "cherish every moment" in another article, i'd roll my eyes at its cliched-ness, but he uses it so...right that it doesn't seem the least bit corny. people are gonna have fun trying to figure out who wrote the article :)

this was by far the best newspaper of the year.

after-prom plans are turning into a nightmare. a certain little someone is being a majorly BIG bitch.

i really should go pack. but i really don't wanna go.

this weekend was both hellish and wonderful all at once. eric invited me to his sister's bat mitzvah ceremonies on both friday and saturday night, which is, in my opinion, a big honor. to ask me to meet his entire family and come to some of the temple services is a huge deal and i wouldn't have missed that for the world. which is why i dropped out on the six flags trip, which was why i didn't have time to talk to or call ANYONE this weekend. not even my grandmother, whom i make it a point to call every night. on sunday, i worked with john on the old sausage truck in the city. i was busy as fuck, and though it was good, im glad its all over.

english ap was today and it wasnt as scary as i thought it would be.

i've realized something tonight. actually, two things:

1) i don't come online as often as i used to anymore, nor do i feel the dire need to come online as often as i used to.
2) when i do come online, the things i look at having to do with hanson are few and far between.

three years ago, aol was my lifeline. it was my connection to everything and anything hanson. i positively died if i didn't have the chance to come online on a daily basis. the times where my computer crashed and needed three weeks to fix were torture for me. my thirst for hanson hanson hanson was never quenched.

but now? i barely go to hanson websites. if there are any hanson news, i usually find out a few weeks after it has been released rather than the split second. and fanfiction? phsaw. not since morgan took her site down, all the way back in september.

going online is on the bottom of my to-do list. if i dont feel like reading, if i dont have studying to do, if theres no good dvd's to watch in my house, then i go online. i've been cured of my internet obsession, there is not a doubt in my mind that this is true, and hanson's disappearance is the cause of this, just like their emergence started this whole mess.

everything's clicked in the focus of their absence. i dont need to be a part of the Hanson thing anymore, and, frankly, there is no Hanson thing to be a part of anyway. I'm so different now than from what i used to be, the starry-eyed mooncalf who read dizzy little stories about her heroes and had dizzy little daydreams with her heroes starring in them, and sat on her dizzy little bed listening to Middle of Nowhere, and feeling just dizzy with indescribable pride. pride in these three amazingly talented boys who didn't even know that an alexandra vinci existed, nor did they even care.

this album not coming out when they said it wouldn't was the last straw, i've concluded. they said last summer that the album would be out early january 2002. well, its now may, and there isn't even word of its release yet. not even a date. they're still "recording" or whatever.

but i digress. i am so much better off this way.

Because my school does suck the big one: they're censoring Ventures again. as if that's even gonna do something. whats even worse is that melissa is the one stuck in the whole mess of it, and she has the job of trying to clean it all up. she's such a dedicated person when she's passionate about something, and i know that newspaper and Ventures are two of these things. writing is in her blood. self-expression is in her blood. she expresses herself better than a majority of the people i know. the articulate people in my life - melissa, steph, eric, and jerry - are the ones who show me what real passion is.

in short, the school should have learned its lesson about trying to censor its students after the whole yearbook-cover/ricky-chan-not-at-graduation/ventures-turning-into-fuck fiasco. you would think that trying to censor something would prove useless at this point from everything that happened last year. you'd think they'd realize that theres nothing they can do to stop kids from doing what they feel, doing what they know is right. but no. athe dministrators are just as hard-headed and narrow-minded as they were last year.

seeing melissa this upset makes me mad. really mad.

ive got a long weekend ahead of me so i should really get some rest.