I would give anything to be able to dress up in a fun costume and go partying tonight like everyone else, but alas...it is thursday. and thursdays suck my ass.

I just heard the new Mariah song and saw the video. Old Mariah is coming back, baby! Boo yah!! No more of that cheap, slutty, breathy, i'm-trying-too-hard-to-be-sexy shit anymore! I wonder if the video is about her parents?

so its rainy and drab and bleary outside and in pennsylvania, where melissa is, its snowing. so not fair.

i go home in two days...ask me how excited i am to see eric again :) Speaking of which, everyone congratulate eric for passing his road test!

Alex's grades so far:
Intro to Biology: A+
Chemistry: B+
Psychology: A-
Calc: B

I'm happy with them so far, but I gotta get my chem grade up to an A- at least and my B in calc to a B+. if only i didnt have such shitty professors.

im trying hard to update this blog more often since apparently my lack of updates is "obnoxious" according to melissa. am i doing better, mel?

My Short Skirt

My short skirt
is not an invitation
a provocation
an indication
that I want it
or give it
or that I hook.

My short skirt
is not begging for it
it does not want you
to rip it off me
or pull it down.

My short skirt
is not a legal reason
for raping me
although it has been before
it will not hold up
in the new court.

My short skirt, believe it or not
has nothing to do with you.

My short skirt
is about discovering
the power of my lower calves
about cool autumn air traveling
up my inner thighs
about allowing everything I see
or pass or feel to live inside.

My short skirt is not proof
that I am stupid
or undecided
or a malleable little girl.

My short skirt is my defiance
I will not let you make me afraid
My short skirt is not showing off
this is who I am
before you made me cover it
or tone it down.
Get used to it.

My short skirt is happiness
I can feel myself on the ground.
I am here. I am hot.

My short skirt is a liberation
flag in the women's army
I declare these streets, any streets
my vagina's country.

My short skirt
is turquoise water
with swimming colored fish
a summer festival
in the starry dark
a bird calling
a train arriving in a foreign town
my short skirt is a wild spin
a full breath
a tango dip
my short skirt is
initiation
appreciation
excitation.

But mainly my short skirt
and everything under it
is Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
- My Short Skirt, The Vagina Monologues




My Vagina Was My Village: Introduction
Bosnian women refugees were interviewed during the war in Yugoslavia, in refugee camps and centers.

Twenty to seventy-thousand women were raped in the middle of Europe as a systematic tactic of war. It was shocking to see how little people did to stop it. But, then again, in this country, in the last year, over seven hundred thousand women are raped, and in theory we're not at war.

This monologue is based on one woman's story. She was Muslim as were many of the women interviewed. Rape had never been a part of their communities before the war. We do it tonight for that woman and the extraordinary women of Bosnia and Kosova.

My Vagina Was My Village

My vagina was green, water soft pink fields, cow mooing sun resting sweet boy friend touching lightly with soft piece of blonde straw.

There is something between my legs. I do not know what it is. I do not know where it is. I do not touch. Not now. Not anymore. Not since.

My vagina was chatty, can't wait, so much, so much saying words talking, can't quit trying, can't quit saying, oh yes, oh yes.

Not since I dream there's a dead animal sewn in down there with thick black fishing line. And the bad dead animal smell cannot be removed. And its throat is slit and it bleeds through all my summer dresses.

My vagina singing all girl songs, all goat bell ringing songs, all wild autumn field songs, vagina songs, vagina home songs.

Not since the soldiers put a long thick rifle inside me. So cold, the steel rod canceling my heart. Don't know whether they're going to fire it or shove it though my spinning brain. Six of them, monstrous doctors with black masks shoving bottles up me too. There were sticks and the end of a broom.

My vagina swimming river water, clean spilling water over sun-baked stones over stone clit, clit stones over and over.

Not since I heard the skin tear and made lemon screeching sounds, not since a piece of my vagina came off in my hand, a part of the lip, now one side of the lip is completely gone.

My vagina. A live wet water village. My vagina my hometown.

Not since they took turns for seven days smelling like feces and smoked meat, they left their dirty sperm inside me. I became a river of poison and pus and all the crops died, and the fish.

My vagina a live wet water village.
They invaded it. Butchered it
and burned it down.
I do not touch now.
Do not visit.
I live some place else now.
I don't know where that is.
- My Vagina Was My Village, The Vagina Monologues

After seeing Rent:
- I can't decide which is better: rock musicals or the traditional kind with a pit. Both can be amazing, although I have to say the music in Rent kicked the shit out of Gyspy's (but i still love it!).

- Joey Fatone is even uglier (and fatter) in person.

- But that doesn't mean he wasn't good. Quite the contrary, really.

- The usual *NSync fans, when in different circumstances than concerts, can actually be...respectful. Which I was very pleased with.

- People still don't know how to turn off their cell phones at the appropriate times and places

- overall, it ripped 42nd Street a new asshole

It was incredible. It lived up to every expectation and everything I've ever heard about it. Brava!

Saturday, in general, was just incredible. Having dinner and walking through NYC in the rain under an umbrella, hanging onto the arm of the person I love the most in the whole world was just heaven for me. It didn't matter to me whether or not it was my birthday; it would have been just as amazing if it weren't. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Me and Eric both made an agreement to see two shows a year together, where we'll alternate treating eachother.

As if you all didn't know already, I love Eric. I want to make it loud and clear that he really is my everything and all I could ever ask for. This is no puppy love situation, and certainly not a fling. I don't know exactly why I'm writing this in my blog, I just feel the urge to scream it, to shout it off the rooftops that I love Eric Lense and he loves me and we're in this for the long run. I LOVE YOU ERIC!!! :)

As you can plainly see, I had the most amazing birthday.

tomorrow it will be illegal for me and eric to have sex. i find that quite amusing.

(if you didn't already know, i'm turning 18.)

"It starts with this: put your desk in the corner, and every time you sit down there to write, remind yourself why it isn't in the middle of the room. Life isn't a support-system for art. It's the other way around." - Stephen King, On Writing

everyone read this book. go. now!

What Hanson Girlfriend Are You?
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conclusion: college leaves little time for blogging

what I want:
- a 4.0 GPA. well, not really; i'm really aiming for a 3.7 but i know i have a better chance to get it if i set my standards higher than i want to achieve. i want to be accepted into the medical scholars program with flying colors, the spring session research team no questions asked next year. i want my professors to write me phenomenal, boasting letters of recommendation. most of all, i want to be respected and looked upon like i was from my teachers in high school, as well we get the grades that i need to get me into medical school.

- to see a movie, for god's sake! four feathers looks absolutely incredible and sweet home alabama looks adorable ( i have a newfound respect for reese witherspoon after begrudgingly watching legally blonde...and actually liking it!) and tuck everlasting! one of my favorite books from middle school; they've made a movie about it (granted the book will be better, as it always is when they make novels into motion pictures)! tuck ever-fucking-lasting!!!

i'm trying to make it seem like it makes no difference that heath ledger and joshua jackson are in two of those movies, but it really does ;)

- to hug and hold and kiss and feel eric

- to bond with my sister in that sisterly-kinda way

- a bigger dorm room

i'm dropping weight like crazy from the lack of decent food here. i don't think i've ever eaten more salad in my entire life than i have in the past month and a week. i need to find a scale somewhere to see how much i've actually lost (...but its not like i'm complaining).

lifehouse has a new cd out! yay! too bad i dont have the money to buy it! boo!

heh, for all of the people that have reading this blog since its very beginning, remember my YAY/BOO list? heh...